You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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