I faked an abortion last night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
