I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
