There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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