I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
