i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
