My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
