So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
