Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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