how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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