The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
