I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
