Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
