yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
