he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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