if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
