nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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