I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
