we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
