I heard we made out
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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