At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
