those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
