I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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