yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
