butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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