Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
