SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
