if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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