So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
