you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
