He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
