I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
