me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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