im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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