I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
