Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
