This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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