im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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