Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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