does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
