...so i touched it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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