Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
