we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
