You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
