You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
