so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
