your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
