i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
