what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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