bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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