Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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