if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
